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February 11th, 2016

2/12/2016

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Depression

So this topic is MASSIVE, It's massive to me and it's massive to billions of you,
​The truth is, the REAL truth is, depression scares me, outright, here I am being 200% raw , my biggest fear in life is that I will fail to find some kind of way to help people beat their depression. Depression is the no#1 leading cause of suicides, stems from abuse of many forms including child abuse and rape but really depression can form at any given time and still be a tragedy to the person and families.

I have seen first hand countless suicide attempts and depression take it's toll on way to many people whom I care about, it's no secret that I travelled down that road myself and my heart breaks at how many billions of people worldwide are not getting the proper help needed. Let me tell you about a suicide attempt that I witnessed , let me paint you the scenarios that to many of you know to well.

​A major suicide attempt was made, 5th time or 15th time the count is lost, woman in her 40's almost dies, she vomits in her lungs, she doesn't wake up properly for a few days, tubes down her throat and doctors say the woman may not make it through the night. That woman is my mother and I am watching the whole thing once again, she has pulled through every other time so I just assume this time will be no different., luckily, I was right. I was much younger so only now do I look back and think of all this and have alarm bells going off in my head. a few weeks in a ward, a referral to see a psychologist, a follow up call set up and she is sent home.

​The follow up calls where never once received, psychologist sessions were to far apart to help how far gone mother was and to be honest I don't think anyone at home knew how to handle the situation at all. I think it becomes to hard to handle that your so glad when it's over yet another episode is slowly creeping up without much notice.

​I really feel sad and sorry for those suffering from depression and I feel just as sad and sorry for the families, the fear you live in knowing someone you care for and love lives with this killer illness is so terrible and I am so sorry that you have to live with that fear. Nobody ever really says sorry to the families before a tragedy and we are here to avoid tragedies. I have been depressed, I know how it feels, It may be because of my being on the other side and seeing how hurt I was by seeing my mother in pain that made me push myself out of my depression. I never want to hurt someone in that way or make them feel that fear, which is in no means what any depressed person is trying to do to you but like I said I just happen to know what both sides feels like and it made me push harder to get out.

​I will fight for everyone who is depressed, the same way I have been fighting for my mother and lord knows our relationship hasn't always been on good term, no matter the terms, I hate depression very seriously. The same things I tell her, I will tell you and believe me I speak survival to her and I will speak survival to you. Some people tell me that you cant talk anyone out of depression, I know that is true in many cases which I will go in to but I also know there is a lot of people you CAN talk out of depression or at least save and preserve their life. I believe in what I have to offer and I wont back down, I am living proof that it is all POSSIBLE.

On the other hand I am very aware that some causes of depression lie a lot deeper, chemical imbalances, hormone imbalances, childhood traumas that have affected the brain, genetics and also medical illness. Everything needs to be taken into account when treating depression.

Together, we are going to find all ways to fight this.

​Isabella Grand
​
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    Author: Isabella Grand

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