LETS FACE IT, IF YOU THINK SOMETHING FISHY IS GOING ON WITH THE NEIGHBOUR ACROSS THE ROAD OR YOUR DAUGHTERS PRIMARY SCHOOL FRIEND SEEMS TO BE ACTING A LITTLE TO SEXUAL FOR HER AGE. YOU MIGHT BE WRONG, BUT CHANCES ARE YOU MIGHT ALSO BE RIGHT, SO WHAT DO YOU DO?
WHAT DO YOU DO IF IT HITS ALOT CLOSER TO HOME, IF YOU NOTICE YOUR OWN CHILD BEHAVING IN A SEXUAL MANNER OR ALL OF A SUDDEN WITHDRAWN? IN SOME CASES YOU MAY FIND THAT A PARTICULAR ADULT HAS TAKEN AN EXTREME LIKING TO YOUR CHILD AND OFTEN ASKS TO BE AROUND THEM. SADLY 90% OF CHILD MOLESTING AND INCEST RAPE HAPPENS BY A FATHER FIGURE, UNCLE, COUSIN AND CAN ALSO COME IN THE FORM OF A WOMAN. THIS MEANS YOUR PARTNER, BROTHER, BROTHER IN LAW, FATHER, MOTHER EVEN GRANDFATHER IN THE EQUATION.
WHATEVER YOU DO REMAIN CALM AND FOCUSED, THE FOCUS IS TO MAKE SURE THE CHILD IS SAFE.
ITS IMPORTANT TO HAVE ENOUGH ELEMENT OF DOUBT IN YOUR MIND THAT YOU DO NOT GO ACCUSING PEOPLE FOR THINGS YOU HAVE NOT SEEN WITH YOUR OWN EYES OR BEEN TOLD BY THE CHILD. OUTRIGHT ACCUSING WILL NOT GET YOU ANYWHERE AND WHAT IF YOU WERE WRONG?
HERE'S WHAT TO DO: HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH THE CHILD, EVEN IF ITS NOT YOUR OWN CHILD FIND A WAY TO EITHER DIRECTLY ASK THEM, DEPENDING ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR BRING UP A GENERAL CONVERSATION ABOUT HOW PRIVATE PARTS SHOULD NEVER BE TOUCHED AND WATCH THEIR REACTION.
KEEP IN MIND THAT MOST CHILDREN ARE SWORN TO SECRECY OR ARE TOLD THAT IF THEY DO TELL, SOMEBODY IN THEIR FAMILY WILL GET HURT. ALTHOUGH THIS IS ALMOST ALWAYS ONLY A DECOY THE CHILD BELIEVES IT TO BE TRUE AND WILL NOT TELL YOU THE TRUTH EASILY.
ONCE AGAIN ALWAYS REMEMBER TO REMAIN CALM, ENSURE THE CHILD THAT NOBODY WILL GET HURT AND THAT THEY CAN TELL YOU THE TRUTH. IF OF COURSE YOU DO HAVE SAFETY CONCERNS THEN PLEASE ALWAYS LET THE AUTHORITIES KNOW.
DO AS MUCH PROBING AS YOU CAN BUT ACT FAST, EVERY DAY THAT A CHILD GETS MOLESTED OR RAPED ITS ONE MORE TRAUMATIC EVENT TO ADD TO THEIR LIST OF TRAUMA.
WHAT IF A CHILD APPROACHES ME? WHAT DO I DO IF A CHILD HAS APPROACHED ME AND TOLD ME THAT THEY ARE BEING RAPED OR MOLESTED?
I'M THINKING OF DISMISSING IT, THE PERSON ACCUSED IS REALLY CLOSE WITH ME
DONT EVER IGNORE THAT CHILDS CRY FOR HELP 1) IF THAT CHILD HAS COURAGEOUSLY COME TO YOU AND YOU REJECT, 20 YEARS OR MORE MAY PASS BEFORE THAT CHILD NOW AN ADULT WILL EVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN. 2) IF YOU IGNORE, YOU WILL YET AGAIN GIVE THE CHILD ANOTHER ALTERED MISCONCEPTION OF THE WORLD, NOBODY CARES, THIS MUST BE NORMAL. 3) THE CHILD ONEDAY AN ADULT WILL FOREVER HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE AND RIGHTFULLY SO, WHEN AWARE, IF YOU DO NOT AID TO STOP IT THEN YOU BECOME AN ACCESSORY TO THE CRIME, ITS NO DIFFERENT TO ANY OTHER CRIME. 4) YOU ALLOW IT TO CONTINUE WHEN YOU COULD STOP YEARS AHEAD OF TRAUMA NOW.
I'M THINKING OF CONFRONTING THE ABUSER? THINK ABOUT SAFETY FIRST AT ALL TIMES. 1) IF YOU CAN, TALK IT THROUGH WITH ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER OR TRUSTING FRIEND, KEEP CALM AND DONT MAKE ANY DRASTIC DECISIONS. 2) CONTACTING THE AUTHORITIES, SOMETHINGS ARE BETTER LEFT IN SOMEONE ELSES HANDS. 3) SOME ABUSERS WILL TELL YOU THE TRUTH AND SOME WONT, YOU NEED TO BE PREPARED EITHER WAY. 4) BRING UP A RANDOM ABUSE TOPIC AROUND THE ABUSER AND SEE THEIR VIEWS ON THE TOPIC. 5) ALWAYS STOP ALL CONTACT BETWEEN ABUSER AND CHILD REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME . 6) IF YOU HAVE AN INITIAL CONVERSATION WITH THE ABUSER, RECORD IT. YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO USE IT IN COURT BUT YOU CAN USE IT TO PROVE TO NON BELIEVERS THAT AN EVENT HAPPEND. NEVER CONFRONT AN ABUSER ON YOUR OWN, AND NEVER CONFRONT ANYONE YOU BELIEVE IS DANGEROUS.
WHAT IF I BELIEVE THE CHILD IS NOT TELLING THE TRUTH? YOU CANNOT SAY, 99% OF REPORTED CASES ARE TRUE. IF YOU ARE BASING THIS ON THE FACT THAT THE PERSON ACCUSED IS CLOSE TO YOU OR SEEMS TO FRIENDLY THEN I WILL REMIND YOU AGAIN. 90% OF ABUSERS ARE KNOWN TO THE CHILD AND FAMILY THEREFORE KNOWN TO YOU, IN MOST CASES A FAMILY MEMBER, 10% IS THE UNKNOWN STRANGER. EVEN IF THE ABUSER IS SOMEONE UNKNOWN ALL MATTERS SHOULD BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, YOU WILL NOT BE TO BLAME IF A CHILD YOU COME ACROSS FITS THE 1% OF TROUBLED CHILDREN/TEENS WHO MAKE IT UP.
I CAUGHT AN ABUSER MOLESTING / RAPING MY/A CHILD 1) TAKE CARE OF THE CHILD FIRST, REMOVE THEM FROM THE SITUATION IMMEDIATELY. 2) ENSURE VICTIM AND YOU ARE SAFE. 3) CALL THE AUTHORITIES. 4) IF THE ABUSER IS UNKNOWN DO YOUR BEST TO GET A PHOTO, CAR REGO OR OTHER FORMS OF IDENTIFICATION OF THE ABUSER BUT DO NOT MAKE THIS NOTICED AS IT MAY ANGER THE ABUSER. YOUR MAIN GOAL IS SAFETY. 5) IF NEED BE LEAVE THE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.
WHAT NEXT? STUDIES HAVE SHOW THAT GETTING A CHILD THE PROPER HELP WITHIN 48 HOURS OF THE TRAUMA WILL REDUCE ITS IMPACT AND SEVERITY ON LONG TERM MENTAL HEALTH AND WELLBEING, HOWEVER THIS TIME FRAME IS NOT ALWAYS REALISTIC. THE ISABELLA GRAND CENTRE WILL HAVE TAILOR SUITED PROGRAMMES AWAY FROM HOME TO HELP KIDS HEAL FROM THE TRAUMA. THE CENTRE IS STILL NOT IN FUNCTION SO AT THIS STAGE WE MUST REFER YOU TO YOUR LOCAL GP WHERE AN ASSESSMENT CAN BE MADE AND A PLAN DRAWN UP. PLEASE DO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR OUR CENTRE IN FUTURE SHOULD YOU NEED OUR SERVICES AND ASSISTANCE. WE ARE ALWAYS CONTACTABLE, PLEASE VIEW OUR CONTACT DETAILS FOR CONTACT INFORMATION.