Trust After Abuse
Today I ponder on the world of trust after child sexual abuse, Trust after Betrayal. I think most people can relate to some sort of trust issues, wether it be from a lack of trust in a relationship gone wrong or a work colleague that was mighty sneaky. Point being, everybody faces the world of mistrust but there is something different about the broken trust linked to abuse. I am not only a Survivor of Sexual abuse, but also physical, verbal and emotional abuse which is sadly very common for most victims and survivors. when they say things come in bundles,, it's usually true, In this case too true.
There is a lot of betrayal that goes on in the life of an abuse victim, dare I say that this is the action towards them, towards us that leave the deepest of scars. This is the one form of altered perception that alters TRUST and life with a deep lack of trust in the world, becomes a hard place for the abused to live in. This perception ruins relationships, the abused goes on to being an adult who is always watching behind their shoulder ( so to speak ). The abused will try foresee problems even if they may never arise, and may try avoid scenarios just because they believe they cannot cope. They may be anxious, paranoid, feel the need to get constant reassurance that their relationship is ok, all this because they feel unsafe and lack the ability to trust.
Sadly, in most cases, even in my own case ( although my trust in the world wasn't completely gone) it takes a failure, breakup or life changing event for an abused survivor to come face to face with reality and accept that some major mind reprogramming needs to take place. Sounds a bit odd put that way but when I faced the troubles in my world, this is what helped me. I don't see myself as a robot, no way, I am 100 real and human, but I believe in the power of mind as much as I believe in the power of will and heart. The minute I told myself I had to take out all the negative, terrible, ugly thoughts that people planted in my head since I was a child and replace them with healthy thoughts. Wow, I realised we as humans are so powerful to change our lives and able to undo some heavy damage, even if it will never be all.
I still ask, will I ever be whole? and I still don't know if anybody in the world is ever whole? maybe one day I will have the answer. I also know, power of mind isn't for everyone but I believe power of mind is a great start especially for trust, this your biggest battle.
I believe you can TRUST in the world because you can TRUST in yourself and you can be good to you.
Isabella Grand
There is a lot of betrayal that goes on in the life of an abuse victim, dare I say that this is the action towards them, towards us that leave the deepest of scars. This is the one form of altered perception that alters TRUST and life with a deep lack of trust in the world, becomes a hard place for the abused to live in. This perception ruins relationships, the abused goes on to being an adult who is always watching behind their shoulder ( so to speak ). The abused will try foresee problems even if they may never arise, and may try avoid scenarios just because they believe they cannot cope. They may be anxious, paranoid, feel the need to get constant reassurance that their relationship is ok, all this because they feel unsafe and lack the ability to trust.
Sadly, in most cases, even in my own case ( although my trust in the world wasn't completely gone) it takes a failure, breakup or life changing event for an abused survivor to come face to face with reality and accept that some major mind reprogramming needs to take place. Sounds a bit odd put that way but when I faced the troubles in my world, this is what helped me. I don't see myself as a robot, no way, I am 100 real and human, but I believe in the power of mind as much as I believe in the power of will and heart. The minute I told myself I had to take out all the negative, terrible, ugly thoughts that people planted in my head since I was a child and replace them with healthy thoughts. Wow, I realised we as humans are so powerful to change our lives and able to undo some heavy damage, even if it will never be all.
I still ask, will I ever be whole? and I still don't know if anybody in the world is ever whole? maybe one day I will have the answer. I also know, power of mind isn't for everyone but I believe power of mind is a great start especially for trust, this your biggest battle.
I believe you can TRUST in the world because you can TRUST in yourself and you can be good to you.
Isabella Grand
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